As I got up from my desk to venture across our ginormous office to the ladies room (which in some cruel joke is located at the furthest point from the one pregnant lady in the building) on my 11th or 12th trip of the day, I realized how smart my daughter is. People say babies in the womb like the soothing motion of momma walking. Baby has CLEARLY figured out that I have to walk a good tenth of a mile to the bathroom each time she presses what I have named, the walk button. I also call it "the organ formerly known as bladder," but to her, it's the walk button. She pushes it, I have to stop what I'm doing, log off my phone and *PRESTO!* We're going for a walk! Gosh my unborn child is crafty, brilliant even. She's got me well trained, she pushes, I drop everything and take her for a walk. My three dogs would LOVE a walk button. Sometimes they gaze longingly at the leash, sometimes they hover by the front door, but they don't have a button entirely devoted to fulfilling their requests... if they only knew. She can even modify my pace... I may be taking a leisurely stroll around the mall in this neverending inclement weather and suddenly she decides, "Hey mom, speed it up a bit... *PRESS*" and off I go, like the starting gun in a 5K, I'm a woman on a mission, make way! Genius!
My daughter is also teaching me tricks to entertain herself in our remaining 18 or so weeks as bodymates... her favorite is "roll over," (please refer to The Human Rotisserie" blog post for more info on this). Not only can I not get comfortable in bed for more than 20 minutes at a time, but she also wants to kick back and relax on demand. Shortly after my latest rotisserie turn, if baby girl decides she isn't feeling the position of the 1/2 hour, she'll spread her arms and stretch a ligament or two so I have no choice but to turn. I envision a smaller version of myself saying, "Mommy, not this wayyyyy mooooove over!" and so I move, and she wins. The "Mommy Roll Over" has been mastered.
I have also mastered "lay down," although this may be more pregnancy than daughter... everywhere I am I just want to put my feet up, lean on a shopping cart (or husband if available), stretch back... anything remotely close to laying down, I'm there. I don't dare stretch and breathe at the gym for fear I'd start snoring right there... I have this lay down thing to a science. 30 minutes after I start my day, I'm ready for my first trick... can it please be lay down? A close relative of "lay down" is "sit, stay." I enjoy both sitting and staying these days, if only I got treats (like Ben and Jerry's, for example) for sitting and staying. We don't call it this in our home, but on nights when John is around, he often lets me sit and stay, and rewards me with ice cream. Not a bad situation if I do say so myself.
I'd love to write about my other many puppy trick talents, but alas, someone's pushing The Walk Button. :-)
hahahaha!!! Someday you will regain control of your bladder... but don't count on it being right after birth!
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way about laying down when I was pregnant with Ellie. In fact, there is a permanent butt print in the chaise lounge that would attest to that. But it also happened to be my favorite nursing spot!