Boy or Girl? and does it matter?

This afternoon we have our long awaited 18-week anatomy scan/ultrasound... also known as the "gender ultrasound" to those who are sociologically curious. At first I didn't want to know, I like the idea of meeting the baby and finding out then. At Towson I took a Gender Psychology class and the professor spent an entire lecture about the gender stereotypes assigned to children from before birth... kinda makes sense. I'm kinda crunchy, I get it. HOWEVER, while I do not expect gifts from anyone, my friends' experiences have suggested someone may buy us baby outfit(s), stuffed animal(s), or other baby gifts... and here's the problem- I dislike frogs. Frogs and ducks are the default if a couple does not know the gender of their child. I think back to this gender class and how people eagerly assigned pink or blue to a newborn or even a fetus as soon as the gender is known. I don't want that either- but I don't get a say for this baby I'm growing, I can ask people to get tan and khaki all I want but my guess is they'll all gravitate toward the "princess" or "sports" attire/toys/decor. When I buy a baby gift I try to vary it a bit, something neutral, but I am usually the minority among the gift givers... if everyone only gave tan or white baby outfits, would I mind if someone mistook a G for a B or vice versa? Me? Probably not, the baby will likely have small amounts of hair and be rather non-descript for the first few months of life... as it should be! What do you need to do with regard to subscribing to gender norms while diapers and breastmilk are your primary concerns? Not too much. This opinion is likely influencing my strong desire for a grey carseat, a nature-themed neutral nursery, and baby carriers that match my wardrobe not his/hers.

As our first trimester progressed, John went from undecided to confident he wants to know the gender. This process has definitely been a team effort, so I agreed without contest. As we scheduled this ultrasound my desire to "know' has grown stronger, now that I feel the baby I wonder constantly about"who" is in there. I feel conflicted because I don't want to assign it characteristics or create assumptions related to baby's gender, but as my vision of baby becomes less abstract, I find myself wondering. There are a few things I know...
If it's a girl, she'll be fiesty like me. If it's a boy, he'll be fiesty like John.
If it's a girl, she'll be an overachiever like me.  If it's a boy, he'll be an overachiever like John.
If it's a girl, she'll be energetic  like me. If it's a boy, he'll be full of energy like John.

... you get the point. :-)

When new babies are seen for family and friends for the first time, they're often described in gender-specific terms. She's beautiful, he's so handsome.  She's so sweet (really? she's just cried and been swaddled.), 8 pounds! He's going to be so big (really? I think the 7lb girl next to him in the nursery will get bigger, too).  She's so peaceful, he's so alert. We assign these characteristics to babies without regard to the way they were delivered, the personalities of their parents, or assuming that they have their own little personalities that have already begun long before the world of gender socialization could touch them.

That being said... just for fun, I took a gender predictor quiz, let's see who wins...

Chinese Gender Calendar... BOY

Blemishes or no blemishes... GIRL (girls take the mom's beauty)

Sum of my age and the month of conception is even = boy... 37 = GIRL

Sum of my age and the YEAR of  conception is even = boy... 36 = BOY

Craving protein ... BOY

Baby's heart rate is more than 140BPM .... GIRL

Morning sickness... GIRL

Craving sweets ... GIRL

All the weight in front ... BOY


So this leaves us... wondering :-) Here's what I'm praying for today: 10 fingers, 10 toes, healthy anatomy and growth.



For pregnant mama's, one of the gender predictors I used was this one:
http://www.parenting.com/fun-ways-to-predict-babys-gender?pnid=59994