Wow! How has it been over a year since I last blogged!? Oh wait, I have an 18-month old now :-) While I'd love to promise retroactive posts and reflections, we all know how likely that is to happen so here's where I am... I think I need to become a midwife.
I had an interesting class in college titled "Reproductive Technology and the Future of Motherhood, it was a women's studies course and met my liberal arts requirement for technology class... you'd think that would have been a clue to my calling, but no! In this course the extreme-feminist instructor had us write a reflective paper describing whether or not we wanted to be mothers, if and how and when we knew this, and why. I naively thought she was open-minded and had no idea until she reamed my paper with angry red ink that her hidden agenda was her personal opinion that society forces young women to decide they need to become mothers to be complete/effective/accomplished whathaveyou. NONSENSE! I knew few things at 20, but I knew for damn sure I had always wanted to be a mother. As a child I always played with dolls, treated them as my own, and nurtured them in every way I knew how. I used to tell my mother I wanted to be a nurse practitioner who delivered babies... I didn't know at the time what a midwife was or how fabulous the profession is, but I created in my mind what I thought I wanted to be. I have always had a fascination with medicine and planned to become a nurse practitioner and help mommies have babies. Fast forward to high school where I breezed through Honors Biology, only to have my confidence in my science abilities crushed by a socially inept, smelly (literally), mean chemistry teacher who fostered my text anxiety, failed to ever answer a single question I had, and successfully deterred me from pursuing a nursing career in my [first] college career.
This blog was largely created as a result (and a component of) my journey to motherhood, my excursions in becoming more crunchy, and pursuing the birth I knew I wanted. After my daughter was born, I was on a birth high. Midwifery is amazing! Natural birth is out of this world!! Every baby should have such a peaceful welcoming Earthside! Everyone needs to know how crummy American obstetrics care has become! I shared my wonderful birth story several [dozen] times, basically to anyone who would listen, I published our PG-rated birth photos in a Snapfish book with our birth story for our daughter, I kept reading articles and blogs on natural birth, and I assumed eventually this excitement would settle.
It hasn't.
As our daughter's first birthday came and went I found myself thinking more and more about the logistics of becoming a midwife. I travel an hour (one-way) for my quality well-woman care, another hour and I'm in New York City for goodness sakes! Skilled, attentive practitioners shouldn't be that far away, period. Not in modern times, not in developed (or overdeveloped) New England! I continued to hear crummy birth stories from friends, tales of trauma, disrespect, and bullying at a woman's most vulnerable time--things like this make my blood boil. I started googling around which is never a cheap, quick, or easy answer, to anything. In my undergraduate career I attended seven different schools, graduated in four years with a double major, and then went straight into an intensive and rigorous two-year Master's program. I don't want to go back to school for my RN, work for a few more years, then go back to school yet again for an MSN--- I'm young but not that young, and I'm not that redheaded but I am certainly auburn- I can't be a labor and delivery nurse and listen to providers push women into unnecessary interventions! I wouldn't last too long as a nurse, not with my fiesty fiery personality. I need to do this right, I need to become a midwife.
I learned that one school in my state (and really New England) offers an accelerated, second-career MSN. Students have an intensive 15-month RN program and then jump right into the MSN-component, graduating in three years as advanced practicing nurses, either APRNs or CNMs. This program also happens to be the only Midwifery program north of New York City... somewhat of a one-shot deal. No big deal, just get into an ivy league school's graduate program, pursue another graduate degree and take some licensing/certification exams. Easy peasy.
Holy crap, are you kidding me!? Am I crazy? Can I do this? I have to, I finally understand what my career counseling instructor meant when he discussed being called to a career. I feel called, I have heard said calling. Ok, calling... I'm on my way!!
Right now I work part-time, I am a crisis clinician two twelve-hour days per week. I can't quite afford yet to stop working altogether, but we were able to gather enough pennies to pay for my first pre-requisite, Intro to Nutrition. Next semester I plan to take Anatomy and Physiology I, then A&P II, andddd... something else that fits into my odd work schedule. I hope to have four BIO classes under my belt before I apply and I'll figure the rest out later. I was a little intimidated to go back to school, especially with a toddler, but thanks to my supportive husband I've been allotted plenty of study time thus far and feel confident that I'm off to a good start.
Proteins, carbs, lipids, watch out! I'm a midwife-to-be, on a mission!!
