Victory! This post is a little delayed because the week has been quite chaotic, I did feel the need to share, there ARE sane pediatricians in Connecticut! I don't know if there are others, but there's at least one!
Our third in-person interview was a pleasant surprise. Ironically, this practice is closest to our home, I should have started with a map instead of searching online! We met with Dr. F in one of her exam rooms which was covered in hand-drawn pictures from her patients expressing their fondness and sometimes love for their doctor- I hadn't seen this at any other offices, and I certainly never would have drawn my pediatricians a picture. Dr. F met with us right on time, gave us her spiel in which we learned she has decades of experience, is flexible and laid back, and just gave us the warm fuzzies I thought we'd never find.
Flexibility in the AAP vaccine schedule was a must for us, Dr. F is completely accepting of this and fits our ideal doctor profile, willing to discuss which ones she feels are a priority for BG McD and which ones we can delay without concern.
While I'm entirely too stubborn and strong-willed (and educated) to change my sleep plans for a doctor, I know several family and friends who have been negatively judged by their pediatricians for cosleeping in any form, whether it be bed-sharing or simply room sharing. Dr. F said she doesn't endorse this practice in her waiting room to all families, if you're not obese (a known risk factor for rolling onto your child) and using recreational drugs/alcohol at night (another known risk factor), there are many benefits. I don't need a doctor who has had no training in infant sleeping arrangements (not part of medical school training if you think about it), to judge me for my educated decision, and it's nice that we know that conversation won't come up.
Dr. F has positive views on breastfeeding, didn't have an office full of formula samples or flyers endorsing Enfamil or Gerber or whoever makes formula- I don't really know-I don't want any part of it. I love that. She sees the value in La Leche League and wants her patients' mothers to be comfortable in their decision... while I'd love to go on an anti-formula tirade, being accepting of what a mom needs to do is probably the best answer, and I pray we don't need to explore that avenue once BG arrives.
Oddly, despite the research indicating physiological benefits of babywearing, some doctors I have spoken with are against baby wearing and I believe while they don't all say it outright, some align with the "cry it out" method of baby training which Attachment Parenting strongly cautions against... I think the anti-babywearing doctors are also baby trainers. Dr F wore her children for periods of time and even shared with us that her fourth child wasn't happy unless he was worn... Not only does she like babywearing, but she's DONE it! Score!
Our other concern was judgement or even refusal to see us because of where we are birthing. Dr. F expressed a fondness for midwifery care and has no problem seeing the baby within 48hrs of birth (as she'll be home not in a hospital where a pediatrician will do rounds). Other bonuses... she regularly has evening hours one weeknight per week and works Saturday mornings. The practice she works in has half a dozen doctors who all keep their own caseloads but provide coverage on nights and non-scheduled weekend hours. I like the accessibility and the office staff were all very friendly... *ahhhh* sigh of relief. I am so very glad we did our homework and that we didn't just settle. Dr. F was worth the search and I know she'll take exceptional care of BG McD... this is one of the last big things on the To Do list, now we have to pack that birth center bag so it's ready to go. Hopefully later rather than sooner, but that's for the next blog post.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Doctor Debacles
Who knew finding a pediatrician would be so complicated... gosh! You're a little crunchy and suddenly nothing is simple! We left my OB/GYN who is literally 4 miles away and delivers at the hospital less than 2 miles from our home to drive an hour (usually 90 mins with traffic) each way to see midwives in Danbury... now as we seek out a like-minded pediatrician, our wheels are spinning again.
In my mind, my personal ad for a pediatrician went something like this,
Me: How does your practice support breastfeeding?
LC: We encourage moms to breastfeed through at least four months.
Me: The AAP recommends 12 months or more and the WHO and UNICEF recommend up to 2 years.
LC: {blank stare}
Me: I see your welcome booklet lists the AAP recommended vaccine schedule. We plan to spread out our child's vaccines, are all your practitioners flexible with this?
LC: That's not recommended at all, it actually puts your child at higher risk for reactions because they get more vaccine visits and have more risk of fever, and it's more painful.
Me: [thinking: WTF!?!] ... Wouldn't it be easier to identify a reaction if only one or two were given at a visit rather than 4-6?
LC: No.
Me: So you don't want me to introduce more than one food at a time to a baby, because THAT could cause a severe allergic reaction, but you'd like to inject her with chemicals mixed together combined with other chemicals mixed together?
LC: {blank stare}
At this point, John and I were ready to a) toss this woman off the side of a building and b) leave. We politely walked the circle with the other couples touring the office, and hurried out.
I started to call other practices in the area... some weren't accepting newborns, one wouldn't see a baby born at a birth center, another wouldn't take patients not born at the hospital right around the corner from us, and some just had rude office staff or complicated phone systems where it was an epic event to get a live person on the phone. Ugh!
Yesterday we had our second meeting. This practice was recommended by a few of John's coworkers, the lead pediatrician has been voted by other practitioners in Connecticut Magazine as a Top Doc, they don't have really late hours but see ill children on the weekends, and one of their MD's is a lactation consultant.
The office was simple, the staff was friendly, I was feeling hopeful. The doctor saw us on time and welcomed us to his practice, we sat in an exam room with plenty of seating for the family which I liked- the first visit we noticed that there was only one chair in each room, we plan to attend our baby's visits together... so one of us will always stand? I definitely liked the looks of this office better. The first question the doctor asked us was, "what hospital do you plan to deliver at?" *the fun begins*
Me: Actually, we're not. We're having our baby at the Connecticut Childbirth Center, our midwives are just amazing.
Dr: Oh, my niece delivered all three of her children there, she had a great experience. [Catharine sighs with relief] ... personally I wouldn't deliver there, it's quite dangerous.
Hormonal educated me: ACTUALLY, they've been in practice over 11 years and have never lost a mom or a baby at the hospital or in the birth center.
Dr: Those statistics are skewed, they risk out tons of people
Me: Their statistics include women who have to be cared for with or exclusively by their OB's.
Dr: Well it's still not safe. To each their own (he had to get that in there, right?)
So now I'm thinking, I COULD remind this arrogant man without a uterus that all hospitals in Connecticut have a c-section rate of 30% or higher (some 40%), or that NONE of the hospitals in Connecticut meet the WHO standards for safe quality maternity care... but I won't argue with him, let's find out about breastfeeding and vaccines... see where we get.
This doctor has a very laid back "it's your kid, it's up to you," attitude, he openly shared with us that his wife breastfeed all their children, all the female docs and almost all the nurses in the practice breastfed successfully, and one of their MD's is a lactation consultant herself... He kindly told us he doesn't think parents who formula feed are bad or they are damaging their children but also said there are clear advantages to breastfeeding- nice answer, I can live with that.
As for vaccines he said we can spread them out and there are certain ones he could care less if the baby receives if we live in a safe environment, but certain ones he encourages parents to consider carefully-- this is the kind of relationship I want- I don't know it all, but I know a fair amount about what vaccines contain and what I do and do not want to risk.
When I mentioned cosleeping the doctor said that it can be very dangerous to put a newborn in a bed, I reiterated that we have a co-sleeper, a separate contained area for the baby attached to our bed- I can't roll into this little rectangle that slides next to the bed like a nightstand, and I have never rolled onto my nightstand in my sleep so I think we're ok. :-P He said "oh, well those are safer. Really, it's up to you."
Last night as we were reflecting on the visit I felt all these strong opinions and considerations coming up in our conversation and in processing that reflection thought... "we're parents, these opinions are our parenting instincts... we're making those important parent-decisions. What an empowering feeling :-) Our conclusion was that we like that we have flexibility with these docs, I personally don't see myself seeing that specific doctor but if his practice likes breastfeeding and will let me do my thing with vaccines, I can be okay with that.
I think we're going to have to settle for Crunchy-Tolerant in this area... I'm thankful that John and I are both educated and stubborn and not being herded along into the mainstream of blind acceptance. Tonight we're meeting one more group practice that some of my coworkers have recommended. I hope we get some good answers and feel positive about seeing one of these two practices.
In my mind, my personal ad for a pediatrician went something like this,
Young, educated couple seeks friendly, experienced group of pediatricians offering flexible office hours, breastfeeding support, and flexibility in vaccine scheduling. Cosleeping judgers need not apply.Simple enough, right? Ha! Our first pediatrician meeting was last month. This group practice recommended by an acquaintance with fantastic office hours and with 6 docs and 1 APRN in the practice I was optimistic. They have a lactation consultant, we'll meet with her, perfect! When I called we were offered several dates for twice-monthly Expectant Parent meetings... how friendly of them! I selected the one with the LC and eagerly drafted up my list of interview questions. Four other couples were at our meeting and here's the abridged version of how it went, please keep in mind this woman never asked me a) what motivated such specific questions and b) what we do for a living, our education or background etc...
Me: How does your practice support breastfeeding?
LC: We encourage moms to breastfeed through at least four months.
Me: The AAP recommends 12 months or more and the WHO and UNICEF recommend up to 2 years.
LC: {blank stare}
Me: I see your welcome booklet lists the AAP recommended vaccine schedule. We plan to spread out our child's vaccines, are all your practitioners flexible with this?
LC: That's not recommended at all, it actually puts your child at higher risk for reactions because they get more vaccine visits and have more risk of fever, and it's more painful.
Me: [thinking: WTF!?!] ... Wouldn't it be easier to identify a reaction if only one or two were given at a visit rather than 4-6?
LC: No.
Me: So you don't want me to introduce more than one food at a time to a baby, because THAT could cause a severe allergic reaction, but you'd like to inject her with chemicals mixed together combined with other chemicals mixed together?
LC: {blank stare}
At this point, John and I were ready to a) toss this woman off the side of a building and b) leave. We politely walked the circle with the other couples touring the office, and hurried out.
I started to call other practices in the area... some weren't accepting newborns, one wouldn't see a baby born at a birth center, another wouldn't take patients not born at the hospital right around the corner from us, and some just had rude office staff or complicated phone systems where it was an epic event to get a live person on the phone. Ugh!
Yesterday we had our second meeting. This practice was recommended by a few of John's coworkers, the lead pediatrician has been voted by other practitioners in Connecticut Magazine as a Top Doc, they don't have really late hours but see ill children on the weekends, and one of their MD's is a lactation consultant.
The office was simple, the staff was friendly, I was feeling hopeful. The doctor saw us on time and welcomed us to his practice, we sat in an exam room with plenty of seating for the family which I liked- the first visit we noticed that there was only one chair in each room, we plan to attend our baby's visits together... so one of us will always stand? I definitely liked the looks of this office better. The first question the doctor asked us was, "what hospital do you plan to deliver at?" *the fun begins*
Me: Actually, we're not. We're having our baby at the Connecticut Childbirth Center, our midwives are just amazing.
Dr: Oh, my niece delivered all three of her children there, she had a great experience. [Catharine sighs with relief] ... personally I wouldn't deliver there, it's quite dangerous.
Hormonal educated me: ACTUALLY, they've been in practice over 11 years and have never lost a mom or a baby at the hospital or in the birth center.
Dr: Those statistics are skewed, they risk out tons of people
Me: Their statistics include women who have to be cared for with or exclusively by their OB's.
Dr: Well it's still not safe. To each their own (he had to get that in there, right?)
So now I'm thinking, I COULD remind this arrogant man without a uterus that all hospitals in Connecticut have a c-section rate of 30% or higher (some 40%), or that NONE of the hospitals in Connecticut meet the WHO standards for safe quality maternity care... but I won't argue with him, let's find out about breastfeeding and vaccines... see where we get.
This doctor has a very laid back "it's your kid, it's up to you," attitude, he openly shared with us that his wife breastfeed all their children, all the female docs and almost all the nurses in the practice breastfed successfully, and one of their MD's is a lactation consultant herself... He kindly told us he doesn't think parents who formula feed are bad or they are damaging their children but also said there are clear advantages to breastfeeding- nice answer, I can live with that.
As for vaccines he said we can spread them out and there are certain ones he could care less if the baby receives if we live in a safe environment, but certain ones he encourages parents to consider carefully-- this is the kind of relationship I want- I don't know it all, but I know a fair amount about what vaccines contain and what I do and do not want to risk.
When I mentioned cosleeping the doctor said that it can be very dangerous to put a newborn in a bed, I reiterated that we have a co-sleeper, a separate contained area for the baby attached to our bed- I can't roll into this little rectangle that slides next to the bed like a nightstand, and I have never rolled onto my nightstand in my sleep so I think we're ok. :-P He said "oh, well those are safer. Really, it's up to you."
Last night as we were reflecting on the visit I felt all these strong opinions and considerations coming up in our conversation and in processing that reflection thought... "we're parents, these opinions are our parenting instincts... we're making those important parent-decisions. What an empowering feeling :-) Our conclusion was that we like that we have flexibility with these docs, I personally don't see myself seeing that specific doctor but if his practice likes breastfeeding and will let me do my thing with vaccines, I can be okay with that.
I think we're going to have to settle for Crunchy-Tolerant in this area... I'm thankful that John and I are both educated and stubborn and not being herded along into the mainstream of blind acceptance. Tonight we're meeting one more group practice that some of my coworkers have recommended. I hope we get some good answers and feel positive about seeing one of these two practices.
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